White Sox Game Chatter
From Wiki Gonzalez
White Sox Game Chatter is an increasingly popular place to be at BTF, thanks in large part to the success of the 2005 Chicago White Sox.
Profile
White Sox fans are a group whose relatively small size belies their fierce loyalty and knowledge of the game. Their World Series drought (87 years and counting) has helped them to develop a healthy dose of pessimism.
Unlike the larger group they represent, White Sox Game Chatterers are smarter, better judges of talent and worth, better looking, and not amused by sacrifice bunts early in the game.
WSGC participants are by and large members of the Chicagoland Mafia, from the Cangelosi family.
White Sox Game Chatter Primer
The excitement, tension and frustration generated by the South Siders' hot start in 2005 has generated a number of nicknames and other linguistic oddities in Game Chatter.
Timo Perez
The first name of the WSGC whipping boy has many meanings to many people, none of them good. The player is referred to as T.I.M.O.™, which stands for "This Idiot Makes Outs," a creation of Urban Faber. The word "Timo" is used as a substitute for anything derogatory, and can be used as a noun, verb or adjective.
Jermaine Dye
Game chatters celebrate the right fielder's achievements by saying, "Marlon!" which is a reference to the member of the Jackson 5. This grew out of Dye's horrendous slump in the early part of 2005: The reasoning was that Jermaine couldn't have done something good, it must have been another of the 5. Originally, Vince Galloro exclaimed, “Tito!” when he hit a homer, but Urban Faber pointed out the very negative feelings that Sox fans have about Tito F. Landrum hitting a homer in Game 4 of the 1983 ALCS, so he suggested Marlon.
Jose Contreras
The Cuban starter goes by El Conde™. Originally called "The Count" on other forums, Vince translated the name to Spanish to complement Orlando "El Duque" Hernandez. Additionally, when he is throwing strikes, he is Ahead in the Count™, but when he is wild, he is Behind in the Count™. These are usually abbreviated as AitC™ and BitC™.
Orlando Hernandez
The other half of the Cuban Connection is known famously as "El Duque," but when he is pitching poorly, Sox Chatterers refer to him as "El Dookie™." It can be assumed that Rick Sutcliffe didn't intend to create a Game Chatter nickname with his mispronunciation during an ESPN broadcast, but Hernandez failed to find the strike zone that day and the name stuck. He is 104 years old.
Chris Widger
The backup catcher goes by The Widge, and it refers to a Seinfeld episode where Elaine dates a guy who does local commercials in New York as “The Wiz,” as in, “Nobody beats the Wiz!”
A.J. Pierzynski
AKA Bobby Vinton™, the Polish Prince. The moniker ironically refers to Pierzysnki's reputation for being a real assclown.
Dustin Hermanson
Has earned the nickname Svengoolie™, because he looks like a Chicago personality who hosts horror movies on TV.
Carl Everett
Goes by "Jurassic" or "Jurassic Carl" due to his disbelief in dinosaurs. The name bears no ™, as it originated on another board.
John Rooney and Ed Farmer
The Sox radio team occasionally is referred to by the singular name of Roomer™. Partners for 12 years, they share play-by-play duties and often finish each other's sentences, making it occasionally difficult to remember who made what point. When these circumstances arise, Roomer™ is utilized.
Tadahito Iguchi
The Japanese import second baseman goes by The Emperor™ or "Gooch," despite the fact that Roomer™ does not particularly care for the latter.
Pablo Ozuna
Roomer™ refers to the utilityman as the "Secret Weapon." The weapon is so secret that even White Sox Game Chatterers are not particularly sure what it is. What WSGCers do know is Ozuna can play most positions respectably, and he leads the league in fewest feet per hit. So perhaps the secret people are trying to figure out is how Ozuna can hit above .300 without hitting a single ball out of the infield.
Scott Podsednik
Fresh off winning the fans' vote for the final All-Star spot, Scott Podsednik has been dubbed The 32nd Man™.
Joe Crede
After the All-Star Break, Joe Crede let his hair and sideburns grow, making him look like the greasy mechainic from "The Dukes of Hazzard" played by Ben Jones (http://www.cootersplace.com/).
Luis Vizcaino
Vizcaino is known as Hindenburg™ because not only is he incredibly slow, but it's a bigger surprise when he doesn't go up in flames.
Brian Anderson
Anderson is known as The Greatest American Hero™, TGAH™ for short, due to his resemblance to the main character of the short lived early 80's sci-fi comedy. US Cellular Field organist Nancy Faust played the show's theme song as Brian's entry music for his first career plate appearence.
Bobby Jenks
Jenks is known as Fat Percy™ because of his girth and his early-Troy Percival repertoire of high-90s fastball and filthy overhand curveball.
Jack Keefe
White Sox fans have the benefit of getting field reports from Jack Keefe, who assumes the role of the team's 12th or 13th pitcher. So far, Keefe has claimed outings from Jon Adkins, Jeff Bajenaru, Kevin Walker, and Damaso Marte.
WSGCers often utilize Keefe's phonetical spelling for their own use when referring to players. A Keefe Key:
- Scott Podsednik = Potsetting
- Juan Uribe = Wan Your eBay
- Tadahito Iguchi = (little) Gucci
- Joe Crede = Joe Creed
- Pablo Ozuna = Ozooma
- A.J. Pierzynski = AJ Pierogi
- Dustin Hermanson = Dustin Hoffman
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