Sheriff Blalock

From Wiki Gonzalez

Sheriff Blalock is the name of a convenience store nacho machine that also dispenses chili sauce. It tastes damn fine.

This machine was once under the purview of the BTF poster known as Sheriff Blalock, who has adopted its name as his handle in place of his own name, as his own surname is a vulgar synonym for a certain body part.

The Sheriff resides near St. Louis, and is an avid supporter of the Cardinals and Mizzou athletics. He also possesses a great affinity for the custardly products of Ted Drewes, and his reports from there produce dismay in those like the Unfrozen Caveman Cubs Fan who are unfortunate enough to live somewhere else.

He will soon be getting married, though, as far as is known, there are no little Deputy Blalocks running around as of yet.