Pittsburgh Pirates

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Pittsburgh has had a major-league team in some form since the 1880s, and usually a very good one except for extended stretches of mediocrity or worse in the 1940s-50s and 1980s, and post 1993. They currently play in a park that has the smallest capacity of any National League venue, and you know, people are not exactly spilling out onto the sidewalks at that.

Got their nickname, IIRC, by "pirating" second baseman Lou Bierbauer from another team.

If there were a team of ninjas, they would totally destroy the Pirates by wailing on their guitars while at the plate so that the sound waves propelled the baseball out of the park for a homerun. Then, they would chop off the infielder's heads as they rounded the bases with their sweet ninja swords. They they would bang the Pirate's women. Why? because ninjas have Real Ultimate Power.