Hate

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Q. What is hate?

A1. Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more.

A2. Hate is a strong word.

A3. Hate is best demonstrated via worthy Primate exemplars.

Dan Werr hates many things:

  • Baseball
  • Instant messaging
  • Complaints by computer programmers
  • Dismissing pieces of pop culture by virtue of their popularity
  • Frozen things
  • Apple computers and related products, and its PC-Mac commercials
  • The "They'll Do It Every Time" and "Tom Tomorrow" comic strips
  • The word "hamstring"
  • Large cities, especially those with frequently cold or wet weather
  • Raspberries
  • Non-creamy salad dressings, especially vinaigrettes
  • Thong underwear
  • Motorists who sit and wait in the pick-up area of airports, especially if they stack up into the traffic lanes
  • Halloween
  • Leather furniture
  • All of us, but especially JC in DC and scotto
  • Having a discussion for the 1,000th time
  • Starting an "anal sucks" flamewar
  • Seeing fantasy league competitors -- particularly those ahead of him in the standings -- who have players on the disabled list in their lineup despite the opportunity to change lineups daily
  • Road splits
  • Silk boxers
  • Complaints about the messiness of his office
  • Pointless formality
  • Majority of choking stuff, fandom or not
  • The law, particularly its ham-handed attempts to make objective rules about subjective matters
  • Stupid "rules" people make up about which teams you’re allowed to root for
  • Raisins
  • The idea that 1 isn't a prime number
  • Weddings
  • Himself
  • Billy Beane
  • Guns and Roses
  • The Oakland Athletics
  • The New York Yankees (more)
  • The mainsite
  • Snow
  • Hershey's syrup
  • Jeff K.
  • Flossing
  • The dividers in TV dinners
  • Oasis
  • That vomit-inducingly stupid song by Carrie Underwood about the stupidest, most overdone, lamest, hackiest subject matter inconceivable, that he hopes causes everyone associated with its creation to burn in hell for eternity
  • Joshemy
  • Tea
  • Resizing a Notepad window with 190 MB of text and having it take about a full minute to display the text
  • Crosswalks where there’s no traffic signal, that span a multi-lane busy arterial.
  • Tortillas.
  • That his commute is into the sun both ways.
  • Chris Dial.
  • People who ask "are you serious?" rhetorically.
  • GGC, but only a little
  • Chess

Other Primates hate things too:

  • Jimmy P hates spoiled grad students
  • Walewander hates Chelsea’s away kit
  • SJ hates mandatory minimum sentencing laws
  • Joe Bivens hates his in-laws.
  • AZ hates mechanized revolving doors
  • TFTIO hates revolving doors in general
  • TVerik hates drivers who drive 5mph faster than me, drivers who drive 5mph slower than me, drivers who use cell phones while driving, drivers who stop in the middle of the street because there’s a FREAKIN’ TAG SALE!!!!, Massholes, drivers who feel exempt from using their turn signal

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