From Wiki Gonzalez
Frank Tanana is a former left-handed pitcher, but is more famous on BTF as an object of concern.
In a January 14, 2004 column labeled "Useless Information Dept.", Jayson Stark wrote about Roger Clemens: How does Clemens' league switch affect Frank Tanana?
- Dear God, that's one of the questions I've been pondering for the last two days. And now I have the answer! Thanks, Jayson!
Other responses followed, such as:
- 'I wonder what Frank Tanana thinks of Bush's plan to send a man to Mars?'
- 'I like John Edwards' tax plan, but how will it affect Frank Tanana?'
- 'Maybe Frank Tanana is watching Wheel of Fortune right now, too. That would be cool.'
This led to a still-active running gag in which Primates emulate Stark (on Old Primer, they could directly impersonate him) and idly wonder: "How does [topic of thread] affect Frank Tanana?" (For an example, see here)
- December 10, 1992: Signed as a Free Agent with the New York Mets.
WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS, METS!?!?!?